Courage
by Inix Cruz
Summary: Quinn can't stand it anymore and Rachel needs to know that. Faberry.


Author's Note: This one-shot is based on a Tumblr photoset I came across when I was just browsing through. Spoilers would probably be the episode called "The First Time". Just the promo, though. This is rushed, so I hope you don't mind. Enjoy!

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><p>Courage<p>

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><p>You didn't know why you were here. You didn't expect that after the walking around that you did, you would end up here. You should leave, but you couldn't. You wouldn't. There was a sudden tether, leaving your body in a paralyzed state; you were even more of a mess than you already were.<p>

The lone piano and the melody in the auditorium mocked you, as if it told you to get out of here and go home, as if it told you that you were too late and that you had your chance with this certain brunette. That you had your chance and you had thrown it away, denying yourself at that one last grip of sanity you had left underneath the issues you had buried yourself with.

You should leave, but you couldn't. You wouldn't.

You didn't want her to regret it. Her first time should be special. It should be with someone who genuinely loved her, someone who respected her decisions in life. You didn't want her to rush these things, not even wanting her to even ponder about these things yet. You didn't want her to dispose everything she believed in because of a relationship with some Ohio high school boy. Sex didn't have to be a rite of passage to create a fulfilling highschool life. Because, well, look where it got you: you had been pregnant, now alone, fighting for Beth, and taking you a little bit closer to a mindset of a serial killer.

You should leave, but you couldn't. You wouldn't.

It was a matter of time as you stood there, that you thought about the memories you shared and the memories you wished to share with the girl and then looked stupid when that said girl stopped playing the piano, stood up, and then turned around to find you.

"Quinn." She looked surprised to see you. "I was about to leave. What are you doing here?"

"I—" you paused for awhile, trying to choose your words, although failing at it. She was beautiful. "I should leave."

"Wait," she said after you had taken the first step away from her. "You've got something to tell me."

It wasn't a question, you knew that, but you were too distracted by the fact that she was holding your hand to prevent you from what you did when you got scared. You were grateful that you two were alone together.

"Quinn?"

"Rachel, I just—I don't know," you call her by her first name as you stumbled through your words. This was a serious subject that you wanted to put across to Rachel, but you didn't know how to put it out there, that she shouldn't do it with Finn. That she should wait. You didn't want to snap at her like you usually did. You didn't want to react like you usually did, angry and hysterical so she couldn't see your layers, no. That was why you said, "Don't do it with Finn."

She stood there for a moment, trying to gauge your soft tone and stance. It was odd that you felt small and brave at the same time, how she not only heard those simple but selfish words spilling out from your lips, but listening to it as well.

It felt like forever, however, when she didn't lecture you right then and there that it was her own body you were talking about and that it was her decision whether or not she would do it with Finn.

"Why?"

"Because you should wait," you said. "You deserve so much more than some guy that can't put his hormones in check."

She looked thoughtful, before putting down her binder on the piano bench, as if it would make things a little easier for you. It helped a bit when she smiled. It wasn't one of her usual optimistic smiles that could light up the world. No, it was one of those smiles that made you think that everything would be alright. That everything would just fall into place.

"Thank you, Quinn."

She appeared grateful, you knew, because you two weren't fighting. Because this was one of the few conversations you two had when you weren't at each other's throats.

But that was that. She didn't say anything else, and you couldn't force her to say anything else. So you nodded, as if understanding. You debated whether you should leave now because you felt cold, and that your hand still intertwined with hers was the only source of warmth attached to your body.

You should leave, but you couldn't. You still damn wouldn't. Not until you said the things you wanted her to hear.

"If it were me, I'd wait for you until you're twenty-five," you said to her after a long hard pause, before bringing the back of your hand to caress her cheek. You could see her react at that point, her eyes widening and lips parting. At least you made one tiny accomplishment—you made Rachel Berry speechless.

And you intended to keep her that way, just until you could—after the denials you pushed your way through to get into this stage—steel yourself to do what you had wanted to try in the longest time.

You leaned in, and you could hear a sharp intake of breath coming from her. But when your foreheads collided, your hazel eyes meeting her brown ones, you asked her if this was alright without uttering a single word. She exhaled, and you could also tell, much to your delight, that she wanted to try it, too.

So you gave one final push and kissed her. It was chaste and sweet and it lasted for a few seconds, but you knew it gave the both of you something to think about for a while. Even though you did something valiant, that didn't mean you weren't a coward anymore. So you said your goodbye, having no desire to listen on what she thought about this.

You left.

A few hours later after that, your shaky hand had answered your cell phone after the tenth missed call, letting her tell you that she had blown off Finn from their date.

And for the first time in a long time, you somehow couldn't help but smile and cry at the same time, and here you now were, in front of the Berrys' porch in the middle of the night, breathless as you held her in your arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. Because even if Finn told you you couldn't and didn't feel, here you now were, showing Rachel that he was wrong, that everybody was wrong.

You would never leave. Never again.


End file.
